


Among the Chaos

by CyelaBird



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Eventual Romance, F/M, Hydra (Marvel), Intense, Major Character Injury, Major Original Character(s), Marvel Universe, Mild Sexual Content, Original Character(s), Realistic, Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-03
Updated: 2015-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-27 23:54:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2711360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyelaBird/pseuds/CyelaBird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D who just witnessed it's compromise and lost your dear friend, Nick Fury. Despite the circumstances, things just keep getting worse as you tussle with the man who you blame for Fury's death. His hostility and icy personality doesn't help the fact your already hate his guts. However, after venturing out into the world with him, you melt the layers of ice around his heart and soothe the pain of his past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Titan

            “Alright (y/n), we’re wrapping up here. You can go home.” You glanced at the clock for a brief second and then began to type manically on the computer again, as if you hadn’t heard your boss. Hearing a heavy sigh over your shoulder, you pried your eyes away from the screen to look Drew in the eyes. He crossed his arms. “Come on, it’s the end of the day. You were supposed to leave over four hours ago.” You rubbed your temples and felt very agitated. Instead of snapping at him, you relaxed your shoulders, breathed in deeply and smiled. You saved all the files you had opened, shut down the computer and stood up. Without making a sound, you grabbed your purse, portfolio and the coat draped behind your chair and began to walk towards the door of the office.

  
“Hey.”

  
Turning around you met Drew’s serious gaze.

  
“Go home, run a nice bath and try to relax. I know today was rough, especially for you.”

  
“Thanks Drew, you too.” You gave him a warm, but rather fake, smile before opening the door to let yourself out.

            Stress was building at such a rapid pace, you felt like you could break down at any second. You quickened your stride to the elevator, then down the main floor. The constant click of your heels as you walked gave you a headache. “Finally retiring (y/n)?” That voice. You dreaded the sound of that voice, especially now. You abruptly halted and tried to collect yourself. Turning around, you greeted your ex-boyfriend, “Hey Kevin. Yeah, today was pretty hectic.”

  
“I bet. How are you doing?”

  
“I’m fine.”

  
“That’s your: I’m-not-fine-but-pretending-to-be face.”

  
“You‘re absolutely right. I’m not fine, I’m falling apart.” You raised your tone of voice slightly. “My best, if not my only, friend just died. Today I watched as the organization he and I worked so hard to protect, fall with those helicarriers. I’m far from okay.”

 Kevin grimaced with every word you spat at him. He shifted a bit and then asked, “Can I do anything to help?”

  
“Help? The last thing I need is help from the man who broke my heart when he CHEATED on me last month!” On that note, you turned around and stormed out of the headquarters.

  
            By the time you had gotten home, it was already around 10:30 p.m. When you opened your front door, you were greeted by your large German Shepherd, Titan. He stood on his hind legs to give you a full-faced and slobbery kiss while practically knocking you over. “Okay Boy, Okay. Mommy missed you too.” Closing the door, you placed your car keys on the side table and kicked off your heels. Then you walked into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and plucked out a bottle of some expensive, aged and imported wine from Argentina. Taking your bosses advice, you lit a few candles and drew a warm bubble bath. It wasn’t wholesomely enjoyed, however. Once you had allowed the warm bubbles and lavender oil relieve your senses, you took a sip of wine. Instantly, your mind wandered to a distant memory of your now deceased friend.

  
            It had been the day Loki and The Chitauri had attacked New York. S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters, where you worked, had been in a state of chaos that day. You had been with Nick Fury when The Council had authorized a nuclear bomb in Manhattan. You remembered his facial expression when Tony Stark had successfully dumped the bomb in outer space. After the day was done, you and he celebrated over some expensive wine. The same wine you were currently finishing.

  
            You sunk lower into the bath water and sobbed. Everything was gone. Not only was he gone, so was S.H.I.E.L.D. Thinking of the horrific accidents that had unfolded that day at work made your sobbing even more relentless. The sight of three helicarriers falling from the sky, along with everything Nick had left broke you to pieces. Finally, your head was submerged under the bath water. You thought about staying there until your lungs needed of breath of air, only to be drowned in lavender bubble water. You held yourself under, the need for oxygen becoming inferior for your need to end the pain. You counted one minute before the sound of Titan barking had disrupted the silence, even underwater.

  
            You lifted your head out of the bath and sucked in breath, making you cough. You jumped out of the bath and wrapped a towel around yourself to see why Titan was barking so loudly. When you got to the living room, you saw him peering through the sliding glass door to your backyard. “What’s wrong boy?” He began to whimper and then barked a few more times. You moved past him and opened the glass door. Titan pushed you aside with all his force and ran straight into the darkness. There was silence and you called his name a few times but there was no sound. Grabbing a flashlight, you held your towel tighter and bravely stepped into the cold night. “Titan?”

  
            Searching your entire backyard, you found no signs of your dog. You rushed over to the side gate and were horrified when you saw it was unlocked and wide open. “TITAN!” Quickly latching the gate, you ran back into the house and threw on some clothes before grabbing your car keys and rushing out the front door. You started your car and went up and down the neighbor hood. You were searching for over an hour and there was still no sign of Titan. Pulling into your driveway, you took the key out the ignition. You just sat there, with your hands in your lap before violently hitting the wheel and leaning your forehead on the cold-foggy window. You cried. After all the crap you had been through, you thought it couldn’t get any worse. But it did.

            As assumed, you had gotten little to no sleep that night. Aside from grieving for Fury, pissed at Kevin and stressed over S.H.I.E.L.D’s compromise, you were wrought in worry over Titan. He could be freezing, scared, or hurt. You mentally scolded yourself about leaving that damned gate unlocked. Yet, you were positive you had secured it properly. When you saw the first few rays of sun cast upon your bedroom wall, you got up and made coffee.

  
            While sipping on your favorite holiday blend, given it was around winter time, something dawned on you. If S.H.I.E.L.D is gone, then what exactly am I going to work for? The thought of having a day off sounded heavenly, almost necessary. “Hmm, maybe I’ll just call in sick. Then I can focus on finding Titan.” Weighing the pros and cons, you picked up your work cell phone and dialed Drew.

  
“Hey, do you know what time it is?”

  
“Oh, sorry Drew. I took you for an early riser. I wanted to say that-“

  
“I was going to call you when I woke up, but given the circumstances I guess I’ll just tell you. I’m giving you a vacation. I don’t want you coming back in until after Christmas, that should be enough time to get you back to your right mind. You’ll still be paid regularly.”

  
“Are you giving everyone a paid vacation? Or am I really just that special? Besides, who are we working for now that we’ve been compromised?”

 

“Well, I guess you could say that we’re working for the common good now. Captain’s orders.”

  
“Yeah, I heard his speech. Anyways, thanks Drew. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  
“ Hey.”

  
“Hmm?”

  
“Take it easy. Although I can’t entirely understand why you loved Fury so much, I know you miss him. I hope everything clears soon. You’re a diligent worker and a good person, we need you back.”

  
“Thanks.”

  
            With that, you ended the call to divert your thoughts from Fury. Finishing your coffee, you were getting ready to change for the day ahead of you when the doorbell ring. You unlocked the door, opened it and fell into a state of shock when you saw what was lying on your doorstep.

  
            There, a few inches away from your bare feet was Titan. He was limp in a pool of blood. You gasped and held a shaking hand to your mouth. Dropping to your knees, you pushed him over to reveal a small knife sticking out of his side and a large laceration across his neck. You screamed and held Titan in your arms, not caring that blood was smearing everywhere. You rocked back and forth, saying his name through tears and snot. You raised him since he was a puppy, he was your baby. The next door neighbors heard you scream and came running over to witness the horrific scene. It all seemed like a blur after that, the neighbors were asking questions and trying to pry you away from Titan. Yet, all that was swirling in your head was, “Who killed my dog? Who did this?”


	2. Cold Formalities

            Day’s passed since Titan’s death, the downfall of S.H.I.E.L.D, Fury’s death, and walking in on your boyfriend screwing his ex.  Quite frankly, you weren’t sad or angry or confused. You were all of them at once and none of them at all. You had completely shut down, curled up in a ball on your bed and stayed there.  Never had you gotten a call, an interest or a real reason to leave your house. Simply, you wrapped up in blankets and forgot about the world. Forgot about eating, about showering and forgot that you didn’t need to get up and fill Titans food bowl each morning. Yet, you still did and the food soon overflowed onto the kitchen floor as the days passed.

                It was three days before Christmas, and you realized that it was going to be the worst one thus far. You had no siblings, Dad was dead and Mom was a drug addict. So, Christmas shopping was always the least of your worries.  Groaning, you stretched and pulled two legs off the side of your bed. The floor was cold; it sent chills down your spine and almost made you jump back in bed. Almost. You hobbled over to your wardrobe and decided maybe it was time to get some fresh air. Although you truly weren’t feeling elegant, you decided that maybe if your clothes looked nice it would divert the attention away from your gloomy expression.

                So, with your new found fashion interest, you found some:  tight fitting jeans, a black long sleeve shirt, a maroon red cardigan, scarf, heels and topped it all off with gold jewelry. Without taking a second look in the mirror, you walked down stairs. After pouring more dog food on the overflowing pile, you grabbed your car keys and left. You didn’t know where you were going but downtown seemed good.

                After fighting with city traffic and aggressive drivers, you finally found a parking lot. Thankfully, the parking lot was not far from a coffee shop. After grabbing a large latte, you kept walking. There were a ton of mini shops, little food stands…the usual. However a large, white museum had sparked your interest. People flocked in and out of there, but it didn’t stop you. Thinking that maybe a little educational tour would be therapeutic for you, you bought a ticket.  There were so many visually stimulating artifacts, historical relics that had made you forget you were depressed. The whole time you were in awe, marveling at everything.  That is, until you reached a portion of the museum dedicated to Captain America and The Howling Commandos.

                You stopped at the entrance and peered in. Why would you go in? You already knew everything about him and his not-so-dead comrade. The bastard killed Fury. The thought made you clench your jaw and ball your fists. Realizing that this little trip was over, you walked towards the nearest bathroom to relieve yourself. That’s when you collided into someone. All you had done was peer over your shoulder for a brief second and boom. There you were, on the ground. He, however, didn’t move a muscle when you hit him. It was like he was a steel wall. You pulled yourself up and said a bundle of “sorry’s”. The man grabbed your purse on the floor and handed it to you before abruptly leaving, saying nothing.

                After finding your way back to your car, you drove back home.  It was after you had set your purse on the counter and began to kick off your heels when your cell phone began to ring. Reaching for the phone, your hand swam around the purse and you felt something sharp. Grabbing it, you noticed a small knife. Gasping, you realized it looked identical to the one that had killed your Titan.  Then, you answered the cell phone.

“Hello?”

There was a muffled breathing at the other end, and it persisted for a while until you spoke again.

“Um, hello?”

“You know.”

 The voice was deep and raspy, obviously male.

“Excuse me?”

“You know who I am. I need answers; you can give them to me.”

“I’m sorry, I have no clue who you are or what you want. I’m afraid you’ve called the wrong number.”

“Your dog.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry.”

                Just like that, the other line hung up. Your eyes grew wide as you began to put the puzzle pieces together. “OH MY GOD! THAT’S THE GUY WHO KILLED TITAN!” You frantically tried to redial but the call failed every single time. Throwing your cell phone across the kitchen, you slid down to your knees. Looking over at Titan’s overfilled food dish, you began to cry in your lap.

                The rest of the day was like any other day, spent in your bed. The good news was that you took a nice shower beforehand. How were things going to get any better? Like clockwork, things begin falling apart one by one. As if you were going to be depressed for the rest of your life. Although it was only 6 P.M, you fell into a tear-induced sleep.

                You jolted upright when you heard it. It was the sound of glass shattering downstairs. You slowly crawled out of bed and reached under it for a small box. In that box was a loaded pistol, courtesy of being a highly specialized and trained S.H.I.E.L.D agent. You moved swiftly across your bedroom, making no noise. When you opened the door, you pointed your gun around as you surveyed the hallway. You slowly opened each door and cleared every room before making your way to the epicenter of the noise.

                It was like you were in those horror films; you had peak around every wall in your house and clear every room before moving on. Then, you saw the damage. Your entire sliding back door had been kicked in and shards of glass lay everywhere. Noticing you were barefoot, you stepped away from the mess. Suddenly, little alarms went through your head. Someone tried to get in my house. Right when you had finished that thought, a strong arm grabbed you from behind. They held your arms crossed in front of you. You flicked your palms forward and pushed your hips back, successfully getting out of the hold. You grabbed the gun that had fallen out of your hands and aimed it straight at your attacker.  “Don’t move! Stand down.” The man didn’t listen and persisted to lunge after you. You fired a bullet at him and he deflected it with his arm. Your eyes grew wide as you noticed his metal appendage.

                Realizing exactly who he was and specifically what he had done to Fury, you fired more bullets at him. Deflecting all of them, he pulled out two knives and flung them at you. The first one missed by a centimeter and the second pierced you right in the leg. You fell to the ground in agony, yet, still defending yourself.  You crawled over to Titans food dish and spilled his food everywhere, making The Winter Soldier loose his balance. Then you took that chance to pull the knife from your leg and fling it back at him.  He grunted as the knife was caught in his metal hand with perfect precision. That’s when you noticed the knife; it was same you found in your purse and the same that was left protruding your dog.

“DAMMIT YOU KILLED TITAN TOO?”

                His angry, piercing eyes gave you an icy glare and he walked over to you. Immediately, you turned over in a feeble attempt to crawl away. He grabbed your leg and pulled you back towards him and looked you in the eyes. “What do you fucking want?! You killed both of my best friends! I could care less if you kill me! Do it!” You hit against his regular arm and he groaned in pain. His arm must be broken.  Your anger grew and tears began to form at the edges of your eyes. “DO IT!” You hit him again but he caught your hand with his metal one this time. “Het.”

“Am I supposed to know what that means!? Damn you!”  You begin to writhe under his hold but his grip tightens and you fear that he’ll break your bones.

“No.” The Winter Solider continues with his icy glare and his metal hand grips your neck.

                Struggling for breath, you scratch at his arm and kick your legs. It wasn’t long until he had choked you into unconsciousness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On top of approaching finals, my post surgical state, writing my other work Renewal, and ceaseless school work...posting hasn't been as frequent as I'd personally like it to be. Never fear! I am dedicated to my work and will NOT abandon it or make any sudden chapter endings due to my personal life. My personal life will not affect the contents of this work, only the timing of it's completion. Thank you so much. Love you all.


	3. Hospital

              “Wake up.” You were shaken awake. Your eyes were blurred upon opening them and you tried to view your surroundings. You were in your bedroom, on your bed. Then, your attention averted to the asshole that had knocked you out in the first place. He was hovering over you trying to get your attention. He was wearing the same suit he had worn when he attacked Captain America a few days back and his noticeably broken right arm was limp at his side. His icy, emotionless gaze was fixated upon your agitated, confused one.  You opened your mouth to scream when his metal hard covered it.

“Stop.  I’m not here to kill you.”

                You tried to bite his hand, despite its metallic state. He gave you a look that translated to: Are you an idiot? He removed his hand and you screamed at him. “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?” Covering your mouth again, he replied with a threatening tone and sharp glare.

“I will not ask you again, shut up. I need answers and you seem to have all the information I need.”

                His glare softened slightly and he cleared his throat before uncovering your mouth again. You didn’t say a word. Instead, you used your arms to hoist yourself up and kick him forcefully in the chest.  The power of your kick against his rock hard chest propelled you backwards, off the other side of your bed.  Thankfully, it was forceful enough to make him stumble and fall against the wall. You wasted no time and picked yourself up, sprinting out of your bedroom. You reached the stairs and before you could run down them, you were tackled from behind. The Winter Soldier wrapped you in his metal arm and the two of you painfully tumbled down the flight of stairs.

                By the time the two of you reached the bottom, he was holding his right arm in agony and you felt as if you had just been jumped. The back of your head was throbbing, after hitting it repeatedly on the steps and hard wood floor. You couldn’t see. There were black dots muddling your vision and all you could hear was the constant grunting of The Soldier. Suddenly you heard a muffled groan and then felt a cold metal hand lifting your head. “Look what you made me do.” He sounded like he was in pain and pissed at the same time. You tried to get away from him, but he wrapped his legs around your body to keep you from moving. “Stop, I’m trying to help. Damn it woman, STOP MOVING!”

“Then STOP TOUCHING ME!” You flinched as you screamed; the sound hurt your head even more.

“You need to calm down. I can’t get information if you’re dead. Now, can you see through your eyes?”

“A little.”

“I didn’t have to do that, if you just cooperated with me.”

“Cooperate?! You want me to cooperate with the man who killed my dog and Nick fury?!”

                He fell silent and pressed something into your arm. You black out before you could fight against the needle.

 

                You breathed a breath of relief when you awoke with full vision. However, you began to panic when you heard the high pitched beeps of your pulse and saw you were in a hospital gown.  A green-eyed, brunette nurse walked over to your side. “How are you feeling?”

“I-I feel better…where am I?”

“In a hospital, ma’am. Tell me, how many fingers am I holding up?”

“Three.”

                The nurse proceeded to ask you tons of questions regarding your name and birthday, for example. Obviously, she was trying to check if you had lost your memory.

“Excuse me, what happened to me?”

“You had fallen down a flight of stairs in your home. Your husband brought you here after coming home from work and finding you on the floor.”

                Damn it. The Soldier must have lied to get you medical attention.  You smiled at the nurse.

“Where is my husband?”

“Oh, he is waiting in the hall.”

                You sprang up immediately and the nurse softly pushed you back down.   
“I need you to slow down; you had suffered from a mild concussion. You will be released soon.”

“But I need to see my husband.”

“I will ask him to come into the room.”

                Just like that, the nurse left and returned shortly with The Winter Soldier in tow. She closed the door, giving the two of you privacy. He sat down in the chair across from you and gave an expressionless stare.  Of course, at first you didn’t recognize him. He had a completely different outfit; clad in black leather pants, a pine green long sleeved shirt with a leather jacket, Kevin’s old sneakers, and a hat to mask his face.

“What the hell are you doing?”

He stiffened at your blunt question, furrowed his brows and ignored your question.

“Excuse me? Mr. Incognito, I’m asking you a question.”

“Shut up.”

                You looked at him, appalled. Did he just tell you to shut up? That asshole, you could scream at any moment and claim you don’t know him or that he’s the one who gave you the concussion. Actually, that was exactly what you were going to do.  You opened your mouth and screamed, “HELP ME!” Instantly, he stood up. After pulling the I.V out of your arm and the heart monitor off your finger, he hoisted you over his shoulders with his metal arm and kicked open the room door. He began to run down the hall at a puking rate. Next thing you knew, you were exposed to the cold night air and thrown into the passenger seat of a car.

                He pulled your seat belt on and closed the door, to return to the front seat where he started the car and pulled out of the parking lot like he was a professional NASCAR driver.  Driving recklessly, he began to curse in a foreign language when he heard sirens behind him.  You remained quiet. With his anger you thought that if you did anything at this point, he would kill you.  “Steer.” He let go of the wheel and opened the passenger door where he stood up and began to shoot the cop cars behind us. You pulled yourself into the front seat and tried your hardest to keep from causing an accident. “FASTER.” The Soldier barked orders at you while he disappeared into of the roof of the car. You looked through the rear view mirror and witnessed him jump on top of the cop car where he ripped out the steering wheel. You gasped and tried to fight tears. “I can’t believe this is fucking happening, this isn’t happening.”

                Hearing a thud on the roof, you knew he had jumped back on. Suddenly, he was hanging from the door, motioning for you to get back in the passenger seat. You did as told, and he began to drive again. He pulled into the parking lot of some old apartments and held you at gun point.  “If you dare try anything stupid, I’ll kill you and find someone else to help me.” He opened the passenger door and led you into an apartment room. “Sit.” He pointed his gun towards the beat up couch and then back at you. You sat, and he grabbed handcuffs. “What are you doing?”

                “DO NOT SPEAK!” His hostility scared you; you vowed to not speak unless spoken to. He continued to handcuff your hands to the coffee table before leaving the living room.  Now you were left alone with your thoughts. Without even really thinking of anything in particular, you began to sob. There you were. In a hospital gown, no shoes, cuffed to the coffee table of a man who killed Fury, your dog and possibly you as well. The tears wouldn’t stop and you sat there quietly wishing you were still in your bedroom with Titan at the foot of your bed. Perhaps you would go to work the next day and greet Fury as he informed you of the newest assignment. Perhaps, you were still in a flourishing relationship with Kevin and he left coffee at your desk every morning.  And, perhaps your life hadn’t turned upside down and you were happy again.


	4. Murderer

              After about an hour of ominous silence, you heard the creaking of an opening door. Immediately sitting straight, you became alert. You heard footsteps behind you and then running water coming from the kitchen area.  About a minute passed before The Winter Soldier walked into view with two glasses of water. He had changed out of his previous clothes, wearing a black t-shirt and running pants. The broken arm that was once limp at his side was now in a make-shift sling he made from, what looked like, tattered clothing.  His hair was wet with tiny beads of water dripping from it and he smelled fresh. When he placed the glass of water on the table, your eyes met. He looked shocked for a brief moment and then began to un-cuff your hands.

“Try anything funny and I’ll do more than just tackle you down a flight of stairs.”

                You glowered at him and stiffened at his harsh words. After freeing your hands, he pushed one of the glasses towards you and then sat in an old beat up chair adjacent to the couch.

“I need you to find me some valuable information.”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. Noticing your contumacious gestures, he nonchalantly withdrew a blade from his pants and slammed it on the table. You jumped and gulped, realizing he wasn’t up for any sarcasm or ignorance.

“What kind?” Despite his prior threats, you maintained an icy tone.

“I need to know about a man named Steve Rogers and….”

                His words drifted and he succumbed to a thousand mile stare at the coffee table. After a couple minutes, he blinked a few times and his gaze shifted back on yours.

“I need to know why I know him. I need to figure out who…who I was.”

                Disregarding his plea, you placed the glass of water on the table and crossed your arms.

“Why do you think I would tell you anything, let alone valuable S.H.I.E.L.D intel? First of all, if I’m not mistaken, you’re the man who murdered Nick Fury and slaughtered my dog. In case you aren’t taking hints, it makes you someone I not only hate…but wouldn’t even tell them my favorite color if they asked. “

                The Soldier remained expressionless and you thought that you had broken him in just the slightest. Suddenly, he grabs his glass of water and smashes it against the wall.  The sudden burst of aggression caused you to jump back into the couch. He looked animalistic, breathing very hard and standing with his metal fist balled up. His cold stare shifted to you and he grabbed a hold of your hair; yanking you up.  His lips were close to your ear and he began to utter something when he let go of your hair. His face turned pale white and he stared at his metal hand. You jumped back on the couch and curled yourself in a ball, watching as he stared at his hand morbidly. He swallowed hard and slumped down into the chair.

“You will tell me everything I want to know or you’ll end up just like your dog.”

                He shifted a bit and his eyes began to burn a hole through your sockets. Suddenly, he dropped his gaze and muttered, “Then, I’ll tell you all you want to know.”

                By then you were shaking and completely fearful of this deranged man sitting a few feet away from you. He was slouched over, with his metal arm propped up on his leg holding his head.  He looked defeated and full of fatigue like he had just tussled with The Hulk himself. You said nothing, hoping maybe this was all just a horrible dream.  The Soldier put up with the silence for a few minutes before you began to speak again.

“Steve Rodgers was born in Brooklyn, New York. He was raised there and-“

“Wait, you already know everything?” The Soldiers shocked yet excited expression had cut you off. You nodded before continuing. You told him about Steve’s childhood and his lifelong dream on enlisting in the Army. You specifically left out a vital piece of information, regarding James Buchanan Barnes. While you told The Soldier of his long lost friend, you studied his various facial expressions. He seemed to be lost the entire time. After you finished telling him about Steve up until Project Insight, he sat there  in a state of confusion.

“How do I know him?”

“Well, that do you remember?”

He gave you a pained look as he searched his brain. “I remember seeing a train…he was getting farther and farther. I remember him being there all the time, like a shadow or something.”

“Your name is James Buchanan Barnes and you were Steve Rodgers best friend. Not only did you grow up with him in Brooklyn, it was you who inspired him to enlist. You had served in the Army prior to Steve’s transformation. Your division was held captive behind enemy lines….”

                You continued to inform The Soldier of his past until his first meeting with Rodgers since Project Insight. The entire time, he never made a sound, never showed emotion or any indication of expression at all. He sat there with a blank stare for a very long time, even after you had stopped talking. The silence was beginning to get scary and you decided to try and snap him out of his trance.

“Now it’s my turn to ask questions. Why did you kill my Dog?”

                He looked at you with wide eyes, like he had just seen a ghost. Still, he said nothing. He continued to stare at you blankly. Deciding it was best to just let him soak in all the new information, you grew comfortable with the silence and his fixation on the floor. Minutes ticked by, two airplanes had flown overhead, crickets were chirping…you were growing impatient. After a couple more minutes passed, The Solider slowly lifted his head. His eyes were bloodshot red and his metal arm began to recalibrate. All the while, his skin was gleaming from all the sweat that you hadn’t exactly noticed until now. Was he running a fever? By the looks of it, he was looking rather lethargic…in fact his eyes were heavily dilated. Tentatively, you spoke up. “You alright?”

“I know him.”

“S...so you remember?

“For the most part, yes. I mean, it’s just hard to comprehend.” His voice was cracking the entire time he spoke and his breathing grew heavy. His face twisted into a sneer and he questioned you angrily.

“So I killed for Hydra? I was their fucking weapon? WHO DID I KILL?

                Along with the spit, his questions streamed from his mouth; most of them unanswerable. Soon, he succumbed to voicing his internal dialogue, completely disregarding the fact you could hear everything.

“I killed for a living. What will Steve think of me? He’ll hate me for sure, no doubt in my mind. What is my mind? Am I even the one who’s doing the thinking?”

                He was pacing the living room before he abruptly stopped and turned towards you. He grabbed a fistful of his hair and screamed towards you.

“WHO AM I?”

                You jumped and he looked down at his metal arm that had released his hair. His breaths were shaky and when he looked up at you, his eyes were watery and very, very somber. You hated him, yes. But, this man was in pain and was guilty for what he had done…what he had involuntarily done. Of course, it would take a lot more for you to forgive him but as for now he needed someone and the only person he has at moment is you. Drawing a shaky breath and stifling your ignorance, you attempted to console him.

“You are not a murderer. If you were you would have killed me already.”

                His face twisted into utter confusion and disbelief. Flinging his arms in the air, he retorted.

“I. KILLED.PEOPLE! I’ve threatened to kill you multiple times, I almost did when I threw us down the stairs! I remember every single person I killed and one of them was almost my BEST FRIEND! Tell me, TELL ME I’M NOT A MUDERER! Because you don’t have to do it willingly to have killed a person.”

“You aren’t a murderer. Want to know why? Because your birth certificate says James Buchanan Barnes, not The Winter Soldier. You, James, are far from a murderer. You put your life on the line to save our country. You saved Steve Rodgers life more than once. You are not defined by what you are not, correct? So stop blaming yourself.”

                His face was blank, but his eyes were still watery. Sitting back down, he put his hand in his lap. It took him a while to calm down, but when he did he look up at you and asked, “Then who do I blame?”

“Hydra.”


	5. Pursuit

(James Barnes POV)

                Before you could get any sleep, you had to be sure that she was passed out. Every 30 minutes or so, you would press your ear to the door of your room to monitor her state. _She can’t leave, she will expose me._ Finally, you could distinctively hear muffled snores coming from your bedroom.

                Careful not to wake her, you opened up the door and zeroed in on the steady rise and fall of her breathing. _Yes, asleep._ She looked too small on your tattered queen mattress, and far too fragile. Closing the door, you replayed what she said earlier about putting the blame on Hydra. It was such a foreign thought, although you didn’t question it.

                For some odd reason, it was hard to wrap your head around the fact that Hydra were the bad guys. For the remainder of your time with them, they have told you that it was the general public and S.H.I.E.L.D that were the bad ones. You believed that you were doing good for the world, as Mr. Pierce had said to you countless of times. _He lied._ Of course, now that most of your memory had been restored, there was no question as to whose side was bad or good. S.H.I.E.L.D, or at least whatever it is now, is the side you want to be on. _First, I have to contact Steve._

                The thought of contacting him gave you a bittersweet feeling. He, at one point, was your best friend. Flashbacks of the day of the falling helli-carrier replayed in your head. _Steve._

                Giving a heavy sigh, you strode over to the couch and plopped yourself down onto it. Suddenly, a wave of fatigue washed over you and you nodded off.

 

                You woke to the faint hum of a car outside your apartment. Instantly, you shot up and walked towards your bedroom to make sure the woman was where you left her. You silently pushed open the door and was utterly relieved to see that she was still snoring in the same spot. _Damn paranoia._ Walking back to the couch, you laid down and proceeded to stare at the ceiling as you waited for a yawn.Not even 5 minutes ticked by before you heard a thud come from the bedroom. With lighting fast reflexes, you ran to the door, pushed it open and grew alarmed when you saw that she was gone. Instantly, you registered the open window. _I thought I nailed that fucker shut._

                You poked your head out and saw the woman running towards the car you stole. Without hesitation, you hurled yourself out of the window, tucked and rolled, then took off into a sprint after her. _Damn she’s fast._ By the time you had reached the car, she was already inside in a mad attempt to hot-wire it. You ripped open the passenger door and was seconds from lunging at her before she pulled the car in reverse right over your foot. “Fuck!” The wheels skidded across the asphalt and she pulled out of the parking lot so quick, that you almost feared you wouldn’t catch up. _Almost._

                You drove each foot into the ground and found yourself running as quick, if not faster, than the car. Finally you jumped on top of the hood and held on with one arm as she violently swerved in an attempt to shake you off.

“Leave me alone!”

                You heard her desperate cry mixed with seething rage. For some reason, it made you smile and even more driven to catch her. _This bitch doesn’t know what’s coming for her._ In a flash, a stray bullet shot from under the hood and nearly missed your head by a centimeter. _Where the fuck did she get a gun?!_ Remembering the pistol you hid in the glove box, you cursed yourself silently. Then, she shot another bullet. This time, she managed to hit you right in your already broken arm. You groaned in pain and let go of the car. Rolling off, you fell into the street and onto the side of the road. Before any civilians could see, you got up and headed for the road again.

                A truck skirted to a stop as you stood in front of it, motioning for it to halt. The man in the front seat was livid. He cursed at you the whole time until you grabbed his neck and hurled him out into the street. Then, you took off in the truck after the woman. She was clearly in a rush to get away from you, that is, if she knew where you were. Deciding it was best to trail her instead of pursue, you kept a reasonable distance from her and followed.

                After about 10 minutes, her speed decreased and driving seemed more relaxed. Then, she turned onto a residential road that you weren’t familiar with. You parked your car a few yards down the street from where she pulled into a driveway of a pretty large home. _It’s not her home._ She climbed out of the car and ran towards the door where she banged on it ferociously. Finally, a dark haired man with olive tone skin opened the door and was met with an unexpected embrace from the woman. After, he let her in.

                You smirked as you watched the lights turn on in the un-identified man’s house. Not wanting the police to show up anytime soon, you hopped out of the car and made your way to the house. Searching for an ulterior entrance way, you settled on an opened window from his back yard. Climbing through, you could hear the woman vehemently explaining her situation. Again, you smirked.

“Kevin, you don’t understand! He’s looking for me!”

  
“Then we need to call the police.”

                The man sounded tired and a bit disgruntled. Obviously, he had awoken from his slumber.

“No, we can’t.”

“(y/n) you’re not making any sense. So the guy who tried to kill Captain America is after you and you don’t want to call the freaking authorities?”

“No, Hydra might come instead. We need to contact Drew, he will know what to do. We’ve got to hurry, I don’t know where he is. For all we know, he could already be here.”

                _Damn right._  You were surprised that, despite everything, she still didn’t want to alert Hydra of your whereabouts. However, you weren’t focused on that. The only thing that you wanted was to get (y/n) away from this Kevin and get out.

                You walked into the dark kitchen and watched as the man sat (y/n) down on the couch. Then he started to walk towards the kitchen, towards you. Quickly, you kneeled behind the island and waited for an opportunity to silently knock him out. _This is going to be tricky with only one arm._ You heard him pick up the house phone and dial a number. Before it could ring, you leapt from behind the island and grabbed his neck with your metal arm. He was pushed up against you, struggling for air. Dropping the phone on the kitchen floor, he managed to reach a hand to your broken arm and hit it. You bit down on your tongue and clocked him once in the face. He dropped to the ground and you climbed on top of him and began to repeatedly hit him.

“JAMES! STOP!”

                You were shoved to the ground and off of Kevin. There, (y/n) knelt beside him and checked his pulse. You held your breath. Suddenly, she turned her head to meet your gaze. You froze under her horrified stare, she didn’t even have to say it. _He’s dead._

“Y-you killed him.”


	6. Unstable

         He looked horrified. You searched his expression for any sign of remorse, anything to disprove what you now thought of him. Had it not been for you, James wouldn’t have stopped. _He would’ve mutilated Kevin._ Looking down at Kevin’s lifeless body, you began to tear up. His eyes were still open, swollen, but left permanent in a fearful expression. The blood vessels in the white of his eyes were all broken and stained them red. There was a gash over his left eyebrow that was profusely bleeding down his face. His opened mouth revealed a few missing teeth and blood spilling past his lips.

                Taking your shaky fingers, you gently pulled both of his eyes close. Then, you broke down in a wave of sobs over his body. You didn’t care that his killer was right beside you or that he was probably feeling like shit. You also didn’t care, at the moment, that he could kill you as well. All that washed over you was grief over the loss of someone you once truly loved.

                After weeping silently for a good minute or so, you heard a grunt. The Soldier stood up and was hovering over you in a very threatening position. His cybernetic arm flexed and recalibrated, demanding full attention. You gulped and slowly stood up to meet his stare. You couldn’t see his eyes or his face for that matter. His back was to the window, so the most you saw was a faint blue outline of his body, illuminated by moonlight.

“You killed him.”

                There was silence. He didn’t flinch, didn’t gasp, nothing. Instead he moved his head to look at Kevin’s body and then back at you. A sudden adrenaline spike rushed into your blood stream and you found yourself pushing his body backwards. He hardly stumbled and then shifted back into his transfixed positon. Then, you pushed him deliberately on his makeshift sling. He let out a deep groan and looked at his arm. You stood there, wondering why he wasn’t saying or doing anything. Then, he looked back at you.

                Like lighting, his metal arm shot forward and grabbed ahold of your neck. You felt the absence of ground under your feet before you realized that he had you dangling in the air.  Both of your hands clawed at his metal fingers as you desperately tried to get oxygen. However, his grip tightened and a new fear arose. _He’s going to crush my throat._ Violently struggling to pry his fingers off, you kicked and did just about anything you could to lessen the grip. Just when you began to think you were going to die, he placed you back on the ground and pulled you into his chest. His hands were still at your throat but the grip was not as tight. You could feel his chest rise and fall against your back, his breathing was strained.

                His hand withdrew from your neck and he brought his lips to your ear.

“See, I’m a murderer after all.”

                You stood there for a while, waiting for contact or another chilling whisper. Nothing. Finally, you gained the courage to turn your head to see what he was doing. _He’s gone?_ The window was wide open and there was no sign of him. You relaxed yourself for a brief second before seeing Kevin’s body still on the ground. Without a moment’s hesitation, you picked up the house phone near his body and dialed Drew.

“H-Hello?” His voice was raspy and quite strained.

“Drew! Oh my God Drew!”

“What? It’s 4 in the morning, this better be good.”

“Kevin. Kevin, he’s dead. Drew, he was murdered!” Unintentional tears streamed down your face.

“Kevin Strauss? Are you with him?”

“Yes! His house, he was murdered. I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, first of all, you get off this damned phone and dial 911. I’ll be over there as soon as I can-“

“No, we can’t call them. The Winter Solider killed him, Drew.”

“WHO? Why did The Win-nevermind. Are you sure it was him?”

“Yes, just please.” Your sobs stopped you from saying any more.

“ I am calling Captain America. Then, I’m sending some old agents to clean up the mess.”

“Do I wait here for them?”

“Uh, first of all, are you safe?”

“He won’t hurt me.”

“Er-okay. Yes, wait there. I’ll see you soon.”

The phone hung up and you threw it across the kitchen floor. Then, you walked over to the kitchen table and waited for either Cap or the agents to arrive.

               


	7. Steve

(JAMES POV)

                _She should’ve fucking known._

                It took you little to no time to get back into the stolen truck and get out of the neighborhood. You had to get back to the apartment, for you left your suit and gear there. Trying to calculate the time you had left in your head, you sped down the highway. _If she called the cops, it would take forever for them to reach me. Hydra, not so much._ The thought that she may have called authorities instead of her boss sounded reasonable on her end. After all, why would she care about your well-being after you killed whomever Kevin was? _She was just trying to get help, he was trying to help her._ You sneered at the rational side of your brain. You were trained to kill, to have bloodlust, and to assassinate without remorse. There were no euphemisms around it.   _So, why the hell do you feel like shit for killing him?_

                Gripping the steering wheel harder, you gritted your teeth at the voice in your head. It was right, you do feel horrible. However, not because you killed him but because he had a level of significance to (y/n). Her eyes were so terrified and tear filled. _How could you do this to someone who tried to help you?_

“SHUT UP!”

                The truck swerved and almost hit the car beside you. Quickly steadying the truck, you drove even faster to get to the apartments and just get the hell out of there.

                When you got to the run down complex, you sprang out of the truck without turning it off and quickly kicked open you door. You gathered your gear and ran to the bathroom to change. Carefully moving the shirt over your sling and head, you looked in the mirror at yourself. _Look at me, I’m a damned monster._ There was blood spattered on your face and in your hair from when you beat Kevin to death. Your eyes were red and droopy and then- _Shit._ You saw a lone tear stream from your eye down to your jaw. Quickly, you wiped it away but to no avail. Another tear from the opposite eye fell down your cheek.

                You recalled the last time you cried, it was the day you fell just out of Steve’s grasp. It was freezing, the cold nipped at your skin. Your head was swirling like the winds that nearly gave you frostbite. It hurt so badly. Your arm was severed and blood was gushing all around you. The train above was just out of sight and you heard the click of the wheels over the track. Then, the clicking grew quieter and quieter until there was mere silence. Each tear that fell from your face froze on your skin. You were suffering, or so you thought, until a few un-identified men found you and took you…

                The tears wouldn’t stop, you finally gave into the sobs in your throat and fell on the bathroom floor. _I wish I died when I fell._ You let out a scream and punched the wall closest to you.  

“I CANT DO THIS!”

                Again, you punched the wall. It wasn’t helping with the persistent desire to kill or the pain, but it was helping with your anger. After you put a few holes into the wall, you slumped down into the bathroom corner and stared at your shoes. _I need to change and get out._ Just when you were getting up, you heard breathing. It wasn’t yours and it was heavy. Suddenly, a man walked into view with his arms up in surrender. _STEVE!_

                Your eyes widened and you backed up towards the wall behind you. Felling trapped, you began to hyperventilate.

“Hey, Hey, Hey. Buck, I’m not gonna hurt you.”

                _I know. I’m worried about hurting you._ Still feeling like a cornered animal, you desperately searched around him for an escape. You couldn’t take this right now, your anxiety was already at its peak.

“Please, Buck. Stop. It’s me, Steve.” He looked frightened too.

“No. Steve, I don’t want to hurt you.”

                His face lit up and he breathed a sigh of utter relief.

“You remember.”

                You nodded and tried to calm yourself down a bit. _1,2,3,4,5…._

“You were crying?” It came out as a statement rather than a question. You shook your head and then he smiled.

‘It’s okay to cry. I did, when I thought I lost you on that train.”

                You looked down to avoid his eyes and another tear fell from your face. Quickly, you wiped it and then looked back at him as if he had caught you doing something awful. His face dropped and his brows furrowed when he saw the tear. Then, he took a step towards you. You tried to back up but you were already at the wall so you brought your metal hand out in front of you to stop him.

“Please.” You voice came out squeaky, you scolded yourself mentally. Then you gave a huge gulp. ”Please, Steve. I killed someone today, again.” The last bit came out as a whisper but you knew he heard.

“I know. That’s how I found you. You know (y/n)?”

                Your face shot up to his and you looked at him in confusion.

“She called you?”

“More or less. She is worried for you, as am I. I know you’re not a killer Buck, let me help.”

                You gave one last look around the bathroom for any way out but it was useless. Steve was blocking the only exit. You nodded your head and put your arm down. You watched his every move.

‘I’m gonna walk to ya, okay?”

                Again, you nodded and your breathing became a little more frantic. He took one step, then another. Your eyes grew wider and you froze when he reached an arm out. He placed his hand on your shoulder and you flinched upon contact.

“Remember what I said, on the helicarrier?”

“You said a lot of things.”

“I’m with you until the end –“

“Of the line.”

                He smiled at you. Then, he went in for an embrace. You tensed up as his arms wrapped around you. He was careful not to press up against your sling. After a few seconds, you slowly brought your arm and gave a single pat on his back. “Steve.”

                More tears fell and you decided to just let them. You hugged him tighter and his body shook as if he was also shedding tears. “I’m so sorry.”

“For what, bud?”

                Steve backed out of the embrace and looked at you in confusion.

“For hurting you, and killing Kevin and killing-“

“No. You didn’t kill them. The guy I know wouldn’t kill anyone if he had the choice. You didn’t have a choice.”

  
“I had a choice with Kevin.”

“Collateral damage, Buck. It wasn’t right, but It’s not you.”

                You put your head down and he shook your shoulder. You looked back up at him and he smiled again.

“C’mon, let’s go home.”

You hesitated before finally agreeing to go with him. Picking up your shirt and gear, you followed him out of your apartment. Before the two of you exited out of the door, Steve pressed his ear piece.

“Stand down, he’s stable.”

                When the two of you walked out, a load of heavily armed people disarmed their guns and stood to await Steve’s orders. Then, you saw (y/n) among the crowd. She looked at you in shock, then frowned. You frowned in return.

“Wait, Steve.”

He turned around and looked at you.

“I have to apologize to someone.” You looked over towards (y/n) and he nodded.

                The two of you strode over to her. Her eyes widened and she looked around as if she was going to make a break for it. Steve called out her name and she froze.

“What?”

                You gulped and looked at her in pain. “I’m so sorry.”

“I understand.”

“No, not just for Kevin. For the dog, for Nicholas Fury and for dragging you into this mess.”

                She nodded her head and said nothing more. You turned to leave until she called your name.

“Wait, James.”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry for leaving you. I was scared and it’s not your fault for killing. Remember what I told you at the apartments?”

“Yes.”

“I meant every word.”  A smile played at the edges of her lips. “Good luck, James. I wish you the best.”

 

               


	8. New Partner

                 Flashing the most brilliant smile you could muster up, you waited until he turned away. Your grin quickly turned into a snarl. The anger burning in your chest was of no comparison to anything you’ve ever felt. _Not even when Mom stole my rent money to pay for her MDMA._ “Fucking junkie.”

                S.H.E.I.L.D agents- _or whomever the hell they were-_ had spread out around the complex. They conducted cavity searches in each of the apartments and had vans lined up everywhere. People were everywhere. You knew that you had to get back to one of the vans with Drew so he could take you home…or what was left of it. As you shoved your way past countless bodies, you could finally make out Drew in a sheen of agents and confused civilians. He was posted in front of a van with its sliding doors wide open. His fingers grabbed the bridge of his nose as he went through a pile of files in his hand. He looked stressed. _Stressed boss is never a good thing._ Still calmly shoving past people, you were almost halfway to the van when a waft of cigarette smoke was blown into your face. Suddenly, someone grabbed your arm and spun you around the opposite direction.

“Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

                After the smoke cleared and your gagging subsided, you saw an unfamiliar face smiling at you. He was about a foot taller with jet black hair and absolutely striking emerald eyes. His hand was still wrapped around your arm so you jerked it away from his while glaring. There was amusement in his gaze as he took another drag of his cigarette.

“If you blow that shit at me I will break your hand.”

                His brows shot up and he turned his head to release the smoke away from you. Then he put the cigarette butt on the ground where he proceeded to smash it with his foot. He ducked down so his face was closer to your level and he pointed to Drew behind you.

“Boss isn’t happy. I would wait if I were you.”

                You looked at him in disbelief. _Did he even know who the fuck you were and what level of clearance you had?_ Fumbling with your badge clipped to your jeans, you lifted it up to him and pointed at it.

“I’m level nine, okay? I could be YOUR boss.”

                He gave you a smirk and flashed his badge with ease. It also was level nine clearance. His name was supposedly “Sterling L. Mann.” You were shocked. Not many people had this level of clearance. _If he is level nine, how come I’ve never heard of him?_ He dropped the badge and caught your attention.

“But, darling, these badges are nothing but fake I.D cards now.”

“Who are you again, Mr.Mann?” You bit your tongue the moment you said it. There was too much bravado in his name. Of course, he gave another snide smirk.

“I’m your new partner, if you may. Since Strauss expired and gone to meet his maker, they needed a replacement.”

“I’ve never had a partner. Surely, you are Jessie’s replacement. That was Strauss’s ex-partner.” You gritted your teeth at his overly passive address to Kevin’s death.

“Errr, that’s not what boss said.”

                You glanced back at Drew who was still obviously stressed over the pile of paperwork in front of him. Rubbing your temples you looked back at your new partner.

“Do you have authorization for a van?”

                He pulled a pair of keys out of his pocket and twirled them around his finger before turning and walking towards something much different than a van. You followed him, hoping he would switch courses and head for the vehicle with the S.H.I.E.L.D logo on it. Instead, he moved over to a rather large motorcycle and tossed you a helmet. You looked at him in disbelief.

“You’re shitting me.”

                He smiled and winked at you which sent an un-intentional shiver down your spine. Then, he hopped on the bike and put the key into the ignition. The bike roared to life and he patted the seat behind him. You rolled your eyes and fitted yourself behind him. Without warning, the bike lurched forward and you lunged for his waist and held on for dear life.

 

                By the time you had reached your house, your behind was sore and your underwear was so far up your-

“So this is the palace upon which thine level-nine access sleeps?”

                You smiled slightly at his failed attempt at an old Shakespearian accent. You hopped off the bike and did a little dance to loosen your pants which were constricting your legs. You marveled at the way Sterling seemed to effortlessly glide off the bike without a seam in his pants to show that he even owned one. Taking in his features, you tried to divert your gaze but he was too handsome.

                His hair was unruly and kept in messy a tangle that just oozed sex. Under his dark brows, he had two gorgeous emeralds for eyes. His 5’o clock shadow swept over his sharp jawline and angular features. Finally, your eyes swooped a little lower. Despite the fact that he was clearly wearing a heavy suit, you could tell he was built. Your eyes made its rounds before stopping at his plump lips that looked far too soft. Suddenly, his permanent pout changed into a brilliant smile and you blushed at your audacity to check him out. _Especially now._ Deciding to play it off, you smiled back and walked right past him to your front door. _Oh come on, don’t be a bitch. Let him in._

                You turned and rocked back and forth on your feet as you tried to come up with a plausible excuse as to why he should come and have a cup of coffee with you. He looked up at you, tentatively waiting.

“Medium or bold?”

                He furrowed his brows.

“Coffee. Medium or bold roast?”

“Oh, uh, bold. Bold is great.” He smiled and took his helmet off before following you into your house.

                As you turned the knob, you pushed open the door slowly and put your leg through the crevice to stop Titan from pushing his way out like he usually did. _….Wait._ You opened the door all the way as realization that he wasn’t here hit you.

“Is there a problem with the door?’ Sterling was obviously confused at your un-orthodox entrance.

“N-No. I used to have a Dog, forgot he was gone.”

                You walked through the house and your eyes immediately darted to broken glass and titan’s food all over the kitchen floor.  The sliding glass door was still kicked and there was sign of struggle everywhere.

“Woah, what the hell happened here?”

                You looked back at Sterling who was walking towards the broken glass. He knelt and picked up a single shard that was stained with blood. Then, he looked back at you with evident worry.

“The Winter Soldier and I got off to a rough start.”

“No kidding, did he hurt you?”

“Mentally or physically?”

                Sterling furrowed his brows again. You sighed.

“He killed my Dog. Killed Fury and then killed my ex-boyfriend.”

“Strauss?” Sterling’s eyes grew wide and his face flushed.

“Yes, Kevin Strauss.”

                He bowed his head and shook it a few times before standing up and flashing you his sexy pout.

“Looks like you need coffee more than I do.”


	9. New Assignment

              Sterling watched as you scrambled to clean up the majority of the mess on the kitchen floor. He occasionally tried to clean alongside you but you insisted that he continue drinking his coffee. _Hmm, guy got manners._ The blood was significantly harder to scrub off the floor and you couldn’t remember whose it was. _I did stab James…_ Your mind wandered as you scrubbed and sprayed and scrubbed some more and sprayed again.

“Uh, (y/n), I think you’ve actually managed to get that one spot more than 99.9% sanitized.”     

                You snapped your head up to meet his worried gaze. Then you looked down to see that the blood was literally gone and you had been cleaning aimlessly for minutes. Your face flushed only slightly and you stood up to take a sip of your coffee that was more than likely cold now. Sterling’s eyes remained glued to you as if you were going to do something crazy at any given moment. You gave him a look and the two of you stared at each other for a second.

“What?” You raised your eyebrows in annoyance.

“Are you okay?” He closed his mouth into a straight line, obviously regretting what he asked. “I mean, I know you’re not but there’s something bugging you and I can’t quite grasp it.”

                You sighed and turned your head to stare at titans bowl in the kitchen sink. _Should you tell him your plan? Was it completely insane?_ You hesitated and tried to think of the damage it could do if you just told him. _Well, he is your partner…the least you could do is have him earn your trust._

“James took everything from me.” Your eyes remained fixed on the food dish. Sterling said nothing.

                You sighed again and looked him in the eyes. He gave you a look of pity.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

                His face twisted into disbelief.

“What do you want me to do, freaking smile?”

“No, but I don’t need your pity.”

“Fine. What do you need then?”

                You hesitated again. His eyes bulged and he pointed a finger at you.

“Y-you’re not thinking of going after him. Are you?”

                You shook your head, not out of disagreement, but over his judging tone.

“If some guy killed your closest friend, your beloved pet and your ex wouldn’t you kind of want to….I don’t know…FUCKING KILL HIM?”

“No.”

                You raised an eyebrow at him and scoffed. _He obviously thinks you’re out of your damn mind._

“No? Did you miss the part where I mentioned how he took everything from me?”

“Look, (y/n). I’ve done some shit in my life that makes me such a hypocrite for saying this…but he had everything taken from him too.”

                Before you could give a violent retort, he raised his hand up and cut you off.

“Listen! Damn woman. Your anger is blinding you. Are you prepared to take your rage out on someone who is equally as innocent as Strauss or your dog? James Buchanan Barnes isn’t a criminal, (y/n). He’s a damned victim too. Except, his own life was taken and replaced with another. He’s a host, a body for a parasite that’s constantly ordering him to kill. You think that he wants this?”

                You were stunned silent.

  
“Do ya? Because I know that the man he is was the man who fought alongside Captain America.”

                You put your head down. _He was right._ Despite the bubbling anger, you actually felt sorry for James. Also, you knew all this about him, it just became momentarily irrelevant in regards to the magnitude of grief you felt. Suddenly, you felt a hand on your shoulder. Looking up, you saw green eyes looking down at you.

“I’ve read your file. You’re a gifted gal, I trust that you won’t go off and do something dumb.”

“Thank you Sterling.”

“Hey, we’re partners now and for good reason. Drew put me with you because he thought you needed a stable foundation to lean against among this chaos. Not to mention that I find it an honor to be working with you. Drew is quite fond of you, (y/n), and apparently so was director Fury.”

                You gave him a genuine smile and reached a hand out. He took your hand and pulled you in for an embrace. Stunned, you stiffened and then relaxed against his broad chest before putting your arm around him. _Drew was right, you did need something to lean on._

                All your life you have been a lock and key kid. A self-starter. Your mother never woke you up for school or made you lunch. A flashback of a young girl rummaging through the pantry looking for anything to curb the starvation crossed your mind. During those dreaded days where parents were brought to school, you were always marveling at the proud fathers and how they looked at their kid adoringly. Those kids were so lucky, yet they bullied you. Despite the fact that they had a nuclear family, they had the audacity to bully the only girl who couldn’t go home to a coherent mother or a loving father. You hugged Sterling a bit tighter.

                Later that night, when the mess was cleaned and you managed to put a tarp over the broken sliding door, you waved Sterling goodbye as he took off on his bike. A warmth that you haven’t felt before formed it your chest. It wasn’t love, no, it was appreciation and gratitude. _I better call Drew later._   Being as independent as you were, the idea of having people look out for you instead of vice versa was quite foreign. You NEVER expected anybody to do anything for you. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that your Mother always used your name and the word “burden” in the same sentence…who knows. What you did know is that, for once, you were quite thankful that you had a partner. _And such a dashing fellow at that._

It was pretty late and you decided that you should retire for the night. As you were ascending the stairs, you heard a rasp at the door. Instinctively, you pulled the pistol out from your jeans and quietly made your way to the door. Looking through the door hole, you quickly placed the pistol on the side table and opened the door. It was a group of civilians.  The moment they saw you, they erupted into a wave of music singing “Come all ye faithful”. You were dumbstruck. Suddenly you realized that today was December 24th, Christmas Eve.

                The carolers eventually left and you went to bed on a rather cheerful note. Christmas meant that you would soon be working again and things would be close to normal.

.

.

.

                You awoke on Christmas day and instantly went to your cell phone to call Drew.

“Hello?”

“Drew! Hey, sorry I missed you yesterday. Can I come in today?”

“Come in? It’s Christmas for Gods sake, come in tomorrow.”

“Please. I’d rather not sit here sipping on holiday blend and think of ALL the family I will be expecting for dinner tonight.” You hoped that guilt tripping him would make him budge.

“Well...” he sighed, “I think Mann is in office…maybe you should keep him company.”

“Why is Sterling in office? It’s Christmas?”

“Should you be questioning it? Maybe he doesn’t have a family either.”

“Oh. Alright. Well, I’ll be there if you need me. Is there any open assignments?”

“We located a Hydra Base, Mann is working on it.”

“Okay. Thanks Drew, Merry Christmas.”

“Oh, one more thing. Rogers and Barnes are on the same assignment. They, too, don’t have much to do today.”

“What the fuck is Barnes doing on assignment? Shouldn’t S.H.I.E.L.D debrief him first?”

“There is no S.H.I.E.L.D. Cap’s orders. Merry Christmas.”

                With that, you hung up and went to get ready for the day. _God damn it Rogers._ You hoped that your rage for James would have subsided, but it didn’t. Of course, you didn’t want to sabotage him anymore but it doesn’t help that his personality is that of reclusive assassin. “Today will be interesting.”

As expected, the office was silent. Before you could meet up with the gang and announce your participation in the assignment, there were a few files you had to gather up. The office was more like a huge warehouse filled with tons of cubicles. Your job was to deal with all the heavy paperwork, invoice, and warrants that S.H.I.E.L.D needed. It was quite seldom that you were out on assignment but you were highly trained for it nonetheless. As you made your way down the extensive hallway, you halted to a stop a few steps before your office space when you heard manic typing. _Who could be in here?_

                You peaked your head to see who was in your cubicle. It took you a while to figure it out but then you saw the flash of his metal arm. His hair was in an un-tidy bun and he wasn’t wearing a suit. He looked like he was searching up S.H.I.E.L.D Intel and mini alarms rang in your head. Before you had a chance to stop him, he perked up from the screen and his head twisted around to meet your face. His eyes darkened into a familiar stare and he swiveled his chair around slowly.

“What do you think you’re doing, James?”

                His metal fingers began tapping on the desk in a daunting matter and a slight smirk played the edges of his lips. “What do you think I’m doing?” His eyes gave away to pure amusement and wonder, as if he was truly curious as to what your answer would be.

“Looks like you’re snooping through S.H.I.E.L.D Intel.”

                Swiveling his chair back to the front of the screen, he began typing again. “Whose Intel?” He had a smart-assy tone. You grumbled to yourself realizing that all of S.H.I.E.L.D Intel was up for grabs since its compromise.

“Well, shit. What are you looking for?”

“Don’t freak, I’m not interested in top secret intel.” He turned towards you again. “I already know all of it. I’m looking for my hit-list.”

“Hit-list? People you’ve-“

“Yeah.”

                His blunt tone insisted that you drop the subject and you decided it was best not to piss off someone you would be on the field with.

“Why my computer? How did you find my password?”

“I guessed it.”

You looked at him in disbelief. _I can’t be THAT predicatable._ **“** Prove it.”

“It’s Titan7820.”

“What the fuc-“

“Titan was your most beloved pet and 7820 is your debit card pin number.”

                You stomped away before you could say anything too harsh. He was getting on your nerves with his invasiveness and annoying…just…everything. _Why the hell is he even here?_ You stormed to the elevator and pressed the up button when the doors opened and Sterling smiled at you.

“Hey, I was looking for you. Drew told me you would be showing up.” You backed up to let him out and he gave you an un-welcomed embrace. You gracefully wiggled out of the hug and he looked up at you in confusion.

“What? Do I smell?”

                Before you could find a brilliant way to avoid hurting his feelings, James strode by with a portfolio tucked under his arm. He rolled his eyes.

“No, maybe she just doesn’t like you like you obviously like her.” He pressed the up button on the elevator.

                Your face turned a bright shade of red and Sterling eyeballed him as he climbed into the elevator. You watched as the elevators doors began to shut and you swore you saw James wink at you before they completely closed. _What the fuck was that?_

                Sterling and you were silent as you waited to follow James up to the floor where Steve was.

“He’s an asshole, Sterling.” You tried to lessen the tension.

“I know. We’ve met.” He was keeping his tone restrained and blunt.

“Sterling. Please, we need to work together.”

He looked at you and smiled with a tinge of rejection in his eyes. “Of course.” Then he looked at you in confusion. “Did he make a pass at you in the elevator?”

“God. I thought I was seeing things.”

“Do you two have a thing?”

You looked at him with the most mortifying look you could give. “What part of master assassin-killed-my-dog-and-my-ex do you think attracts me to him?”

                He looked relieved and then laughed it off as the two of you waited for the elevator doors to re-open.

 


	10. Lamb

 

                The Hydra Facility was located about 138 miles away from the office, therefore we had to leave as quickly as possible. Steve and Barnes were going to silently penetrate the building first to take out any major threats and guards surrounding the facility. You and Sterling were going to follow after Cap gave the signal. Then, the four of you would light the place up like a Christmas tree.

                “Alright, does every body understand the objective of this mission?” Steve scanned our eyes. The three of us nodded our heads.

“Okay. Go suit up.”

                You were excited. The only two times you’ve ever been out on the field were for cautionary reasons. All two times, you sat behind some shrub or up a tree and was kept on “look out.” Never once had you fired a gun at a person nor seen any real action…until today. This is what you’ve spent 2 hours in the gym 4 times a week for. This is what you have taken military-grade combat training and top of the line artillery specialization classes for. _Today is the day I can make Fury proud._ Nearly skipping towards the locker rooms, you yearned to feel the compressed leather upon your skin again. As you slid one leg into your suit, you smiled at how well it fit your body. After a series of buckles and buttons, you marveled at yourself in the mirror.

“Hydra has no idea what’s coming for ‘em.” You smirked at your reflection and tied your hair back into a pony tail.

“Are you ready yet? We’ve been waiting-“ You twirled around to meet James and his shocked expression.

“Care to knock?” You raised an eyebrow at him. His eyes ran up your body and he noticeably bit his lower lip. Then, his eyes met yours with a look you couldn’t quite place.

“Care to suit up in time? Who ya’ trying to impress?”

“Nobody, James. This is an important assignment and I took it upon myself to make sure I was properly equipped.”

“It’s that fucker Sterling, ain’t it?”

You looked at him in bewilderment. “No, and even if that was the case what do you have against him?”

“I don’t trust the kid.”

“Well that KID earned my trust and I don’t advise you talk about him like that in front of me. He never did anything to you, Barnes.”

                He grunted silently and you rolled his eyes. Then, he swaggered over in your direction which made you take a step back for every step he made towards you. Suddenly, your back hit the wall. His metal hand was placed on the wall next to your head and he leaned his body over you. This breathing was ragged and his eyes pierced straight into yours. It was need. You could almost feel his need surging between the two of you. _Need for what? Is it for affection? Maybe touch?_ His eyes searched yours, looking for something.

“James.” His gaze remained fixed and un-wavering. A discomfort began to surface at his proximity and annoyance due to the fact that you just didn’t know what he wanted.

                Finally, he chuckled and pushed away from you. Breathing a sigh of relief, you looked over at him in utter confusion.

“What was that?”

“It was me trying to figure your stubborn ass out.”

“And?”

“And, I found something.” He chuckled again and began to walk back towards the group. You hustled after him

“Wait, what do you mean?”

“If a lion stands over a lamb, the lamb should cower. You…” He chuckled again, “You don’t. You never do.”

“You didn’t scare me, James. You worried me.”

“Worried about what I would do?” His eyes sparkled.

“No. Worried about what you needed from me.”

                He shook his head and muttered under his breath in, what you assumed was, Russian. Then, he kept walking in silence. You followed after him quietly. _Did he WANT me to be scared of him?_ When you reached the jeep where Cap and Sterling were waiting, Sterling reared his head towards the back and gave you a look of approval.

“You look killer.” He winked and you smiled.

                It took about 2 hours to reach the “safe zone” by the Hydra Facility in which Sterling could park the jeep and the group could go over the plan without being seen.

“The two of you,” Steve pointed to you and Sterling, “wait here until we give the signal.”

“Roger that.” Sterling nodded.

                James and Steve darted into the forest lining and kept running until you couldn’t see them any longer. You figured it would take no more than 10 minutes for Steve and James to make quick work of the major threats.

“Are you ready for this?” Sterling snapped you back to reality.

“Yes. Absolutely. How about you?

“I’ve done this a trillion times. I call these the shoe-tie missions, easy as tying shoes.”

“Oh.” You looked down after a wave of embarrassment washed over you. “This is my first real assignment.”

“What?” Sterling knitted his brows together. “You’ve had training though, obviously since you survived a brawl with Barnes, right?”

“Yes, I’ve had all the training you’ve had. I just never used it.”

                He breathed a sigh of relief but remained tense. Suddenly, you heard Steve’s voice over the headset in your ear.

“Let’s light them up.”

                You gave Sterling a pat on the shoulder before quickly darting off into the forest towards the right of the building whereas Sterling would be assessing the left. It wasn’t long before you could see the Hydra Facility. Surprisingly, all was still calm on the outside. As you neared the right side, you saw two lone guards securing the side entrance. _If I shoot them, it will be loud enough to alert the other guards inside._ Quickly, you reached for two throwing knives strapped to your leg harness and made a run towards the men. Before the first guard noticed you, he collapsed with a knife protruding from his neck. As the second guard motioned to aim his gun, you skillfully hurled the knife towards his knee. He collapsed to the ground and then you swiftly side-kicked his head which rendered him limp and unconscious.

                Before you could get your hands around the knob of the side entrance, something pulled you backwards into the dirt. You fell with a thud that knocked the wind from your lungs. As you looked to see whom your attacker was, an arm came down for a forceful punch. Luckily, you rolled your body over in time and stood up with your gun drawn. As expected, it was another Hydra agent. However, this man was a lot bigger and stronger than the last two men you took out. You emptied out your barrel, but to no avail. Every shot you made was dodged and the man gave you a devilish smirk. Throwing your gun into the dirt, you grabbed another knife and threw it towards his torso.

                He groaned as the knife stuck him straight into his abdomen. He grabbed the knife, pulled it out with a grunt, and hurled the bloodied knife straight towards your head. You ducked and then heard the clink of metal behind you. Without warning, James hurdled over you and punched the man square in the face. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see two Hydra guards emerging from the building and ready to shoot James. Obviously, they were chasing him. You grabbed another pistol from your harness and made quick work of the first guard. Then, like a raging bull, you made a mad dash towards the second guard who had a pistol aimed and hot for James. The moment he shot, you tackled his body into the ground and his bullet hit a tree instead. Without hesitation, you mounted the agent and punched him multiple times until you were sure he was unconscious.

                James was still fighting with the Hydra agent on steroids. A wave of anxiety hit you. _What if James can’t beat him? Should I intervene? What if James breaks his arm even more?_ Thinking fast, you rummaged through your harness and found a grenade. You sprinted towards the guard who had just hurdled James to the ground. Then, you removed the pick from the grenade and jumped on top of his broad shoulders. Wrapping your legs around his neck, you swung his body down into the ground and shoved the grenade into his mouth. Then, you sprang to your feet and jumped on top of James.

                All you could hear was a ringing in your ears and fire burst into the sky. Dirt kicked up and sprayed everywhere. Then, you realized that James had somehow maneuvered on top of you, shielding you from the debris of the explosion.  When the ringing stopped, you could hear the buzzing of alarms going off and shouting in all directions. James opened his eyes and jumped up. He pulled you to your feet and gave you a look of pure astonishment.

“I’m not a lamb.” You gave him a tired grin.


	11. Killer and Savior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CAUTION: Bit of violence.

               James clenched his fists to his side and visibly gritted his teeth. He gave you a stone-cold glare as he caught his breath. Then, he pointed a metal finger towards you.

“Don’t you ever put yourself on the line for me like that again.”

“What? I helped you!”

“Don’t!” He took a step closer. “Not for me!”

“You looked as if you were struggling, James.”

“I had him on the ropes.”

                James spit into the dirt and wiped his nose. The already smeared paint on his eyes smudged a bit more along with the blood running own his hairline. He looked back up with a softened stare. Your heart gave a sudden flutter which caused you to give a sharp intake of breath. James took a step forward and reached his right hand up to your face. You tensed but then relaxed when you realized that he was simply wiping blood from the corner of your lip. He smirked.

“So, not a lamb?” His expression was that of pure amusement and he gave you a little snicker.

                You smiled slightly. He reached behind him and grabbed a small sub-machine gun in which he handed to you.

“Take it.” Then his eyes lit up and he reached for a throwing knife from his belt. “And this. You seem to know how to use these effectively.”

                As if a switch had been flipped, his eyes fogged back up into a misty, stone-cold gaze. He turned around and sprinted at a remarkable pace towards the building. Both his arms reached up and he jumped rather high off the ground. His hands caught the awning of the roof and he pushed himself up. _How the hell did he do that with a nearly healed arm?_ Then, he swung his legs over the roof and stood tall, on top of the Hydra facility. Suddenly, he turned around and motioned for you to follow him. _Here goes nothing._

                James readied his gun and stood on guard as you hustled towards the facility. There was no way you were jumping as high as he did, you deducted. Instead, you noticed the rain drain running vertically along the side of the building. You leaped onto the drain and was able to push yourself up high enough to make a risky jump towards the awning. Holding your breath, you kicked your legs from the drain and grabbed the edge of the roofing. You gave yourself a silent applaud. Suddenly, a metal hand grabbed your arm and hoisted you in a standing position. You looked at James in pure awe. However, his gaze remained alert and icy.

                The two of you ran across the roof until James came to a halt. He turned and looked over the edge of the building then looked at you.

“I’m going through the window then I want you to jump when I tell you to.”

                Without hesitation, he turned again and hopped off the roof of the facility. His metal arm caught the edge of the building and he used the momentum to swing himself into the window below him. Glass shattered everywhere and you heard nothing for a few seconds as he made his way inside. All of a sudden, the top half of his body leaned out of the window and he motioned for you to jump. You didn’t allow yourself to hesitate and you jumped off. In a matter of seconds, you landed in big arms that pulled you through the window and onto your feet.

Two dead Hydra guards with their necks twisted into a grotesque shape lay limp just feet away from you. Your eyes darted to James as he continued to move through the room and out the door. You followed him into a long, dark hallway. The lights above were all blown out and sparks blew from a socket every now and then. The only light was that from a large red-security alarm that gave off an ear-bleeding shriek. As you checked every opened door and cleared each room, James reached an arm out to stop you. He crouched down beside an open doorway and listened. You did the same.

                Suddenly, a small, circular bomb was tossed from the room and James hopped to his feet. Turning, he grabbed you and pushed the two of you far away from the bomb. The grenade exploded and sent a shrapnel of metal into the one part of your body that James wasn’t protecting, your leg. James pushed you into an already cleared room and ran towards the area in which the grenade was thrown from.

Your left thigh had been pierced with a 3 inch hunk of metal. _I need to help James. I’ve got to keep moving._ You took off your belt and stripped it of any gun carriers and pockets. Then, you bit down into it as a shaky hand pulled the metal from your thigh. You let out a guttural groan. After wrapping your upper thigh with the belt, you managed to hobble to your feet. It hurt but you walked over to the room that James was currently in.

As you peered inside, you saw James in a state that you’ve seen only once before when he killed Kevin. He pulled a large bayonet from his belt and mounted an already grounded Hydra guard. The man was holding his arms out and crying in pain before James dragged the knife across his neck. In a flash, he perked right up and made his way to the other cowering guard in the corner. James grabbed the man by the collar and held him up above him. His feet were high off the ground and his hands were desperately scratching at his metal limb. You gasped when you caught sight of the Hydra agent’s face.

He was a kid, around 16 or 17 at the most. He had fear mirrored in his eyes and tears streamed feverishly down his baby face.

“Please! Don’t kill me, please!

                   James pulled the kid closer to his face and looked him in the eyes.

“Do you work for Hydra?” James snarled.

“Only an internship! Honest! I didn’t know, please I didn’t know!”

                 You had enough. The boy was evidently innocent, just at the wrong place at the wrong time. Anxiety swept over you.

“JAMES! Stop! He’s a child! Put him down!”

                James didn’t even glance at you. Instead he lifted the bayonet from his other hand and brought it inches from the boy’s chest.

“JAMES! NO!”

                You tackled him to the ground before he could push the blade into the kid. The boy fell and crouched under a nearby desk.  James struggled to get back towards him but you grabbed his face and forced him to look at you.

“James. James, calm down! This isn’t you! That’s a child, you’re not a murderer.”

                His eyes remained clouded in bloodlust yet you persisted.

“Bucky!” Finally, a light turned on in his head and the fog lifted. “Bucky, listen to me. You’re okay, everything is fine.”

                His eyes remained wide and fixated, but not on hurting the boy. He lifted his hand and placed it over your hand that was grabbing his face.

“(y/n).”

                Before you could respond, Sterling came darting into the room and pushed you away from James. He drew his gun at him and ordered him to his feet but James remained on the ground. His eyes were glued to yours and suddenly it felt as if the two of you were in a room alone.

                He was scared, you could see it. For the first time, this rouge assassin had been degraded into a cowering deer. His eyes were in the headlights yet un-moving from yours and his expression was that of pure confusion and fear. _This isn’t right._ You felt strong hands pull you back to your feet, yet you couldn’t stop watching the plethora of emotions flickering in James’ eyes. There was a sense of despair as you watched his shoulders hunch over and his head hang down to the floor. His legs were pulled up in front of him and he used both his knees as an armrest. Like a wounded warrior in battle or perhaps a bird with a broken wing, his spirit was defeated and it was the most painful thing you’ve witnessed thus far.

                All at once, your senses came flooding to your system as Steve shook your shoulders. The alarm remained shrieking, smoke was filling your lungs and Steve was screaming your name to grab your attention.

“Hey! We’ve got to get out of here!” Steve had his mask ripped off his head and blood was dripping from his lips.

                You registered the fact that the entire facility had been set aflame and there was little to no time for a safe evacuation. Steve snapped towards Sterling and then pointed to you in which Sterling rushed over and grabbed your arm. As you tried to hobble at his quick pace towards the nearest exit, he quickly noticed your crippled state. Without hesitation, Sterling scooped you into his arms and managed to get the two of you past the “Safe zone.” When both of you got to the jeep, Sterling put you down on the ground and then hopped into the jeep.

“Stay here! I’m going to get them out of there, I’ll be right back for you!”

                The jeep roared to life and sped past the safe zone. Suddenly, there was silence. There you were, alone in a clearing in the woods with a wounded leg and miles away from home. The silence and worry was consuming you. All the while, your entire leg was throbbing and seething from the open gash that was spilling blood and could quite possibly drain you. _Oh for fucks sake, someone give me some Tylenol._

“Well, look-y here boys! It must be Christmas!”

                You turned your head to whom the voice came from and saw three grown men peering at you from the forest lining. All three men were Hydra, as you noticed their red insignia on their sleeves. Two of the men had their guns pointed straight at you and one of them with a tooth pick in his mouth had dropped his gun to the ground. The man with the tooth pick put his hands up and walked closer to you. Instantly, your hand reached for your belt for any weapons until you realized that you were completely dis-armed and your belt was around your thigh.

“Don’t come any closer!”

“Ooooooo.”

                Then man turned towards his buddies and mocked your threatening tone. Then, the two men disarmed themselves and began walking towards you as well. You were frightened but you knew that if you showed it, it would only fuel their fire even more so. So, you stood up to meet them face to face. The man with the toothpick walked a circle around you before returning to his friends.

“Now what’s a fine young thang like yer’self doing out here?”

                 You said nothing and he walked closer to you until he was inches from where you were standing. He squinted at your face and then began to look you up and down. His eyes rested on your wounded leg and then he released a sinister cackle.

“Not so big and bad after all are ya now sweetie? I think I might have to call you in.”

“Call who in?” You smirked, realizing that he had no clue that the Hydra facility was currently up in flames.

“I’m ‘posed to call in any threats. Come to think of it…”He turned to his friends who all gave a sly smile back at him. “I don’t reckon you qualify as a threat, doll.”

“Why don’t you tell that to your buddies back at the facility, if they aren’t already dead.”

                To add emphasis on your statement, an explosion sounded off in the distance where the facility was located. All three men wiped their smiles from their face and instantly grew panicked. The man with the toothpick pointed towards the men behind him.

“You two go see what the hell is going on! I’ll take care of this bitch.” Both men darted towards their eminent doom.

                The man gave you a glare and lunged for you. Despite the rising pain in your leg, you ducked and rolled away from him and got back to your feet. Picking up a nearby rock, you tossed it at his head but he dodged it and ran towards you. Suddenly, he kicked you in your wounded leg which caused you to scream in agony and drop to the floor. He gave another sinister chuckle.

“Hydra doesn’t take prisoners, sweetie.” He gave another kick to your side which turned you over on your back.

                The sky and the tops of the trees were blurred from the blinding pain shooting up from your leg and your side. Suddenly, the view was blocked as the man straddled you with a small bayonet.

“Should we see what’s hiding under all this leather?”

                He smiled right before he lifted the collar of your suit and drug his knife down to the hem of your pants. Your entire suit burst open. Everything was exposed, except for what was covered by your bra. Your arms reached up and scratched at his face but he grabbed both of them and dragged you towards a nearby tree. There, he handcuffed your hands behind the tree and began his torture.

                You screamed as he pushed his bayonet into your other leg, symmetrical to the wound caused by the shrapnel. Just as slowly as he penetrated your leg he drug it out. Cries ripped from your throat and he was enjoying every second of it. With every agony-laced scream, he gave a silent chuckle.

“Stop! You fucking sadist!!” You spit towards him and he only smiled more.

“Shhhhh…”

                He pushed his grimy lips to yours and mauled your mouth with his invasive tongue. You pulled your face away and he laughed again. His hands ran down the length of your body and rested on the bleeding incision left by his blade. Then, he stuck two fingers into your wound and pulled them out. Again, you screamed. He took the blood and smeared it across your stomach before cocking his head back for another manic cackle. As he did so, you watched as a bullet exited from one side of his head to the other and he fell limp on the cold forest floor.

“(Y/n)!” You heard his voice before you felt his strong metal hand rip apart the handcuffs that held you to the tree.

                He reached over and lifted you into his arms. Your vision began to blur again and your head fell against his chest. You could hear the jeep and people shouting, but all you focused on was James. He smelled of sweat and smoke but for some reason it calmed your nerves. You reached a hand up and cupped his face. He looked down at you in surprise and with fear still in his eyes. Then, as he handed you off to another pair of sturdy arms in the jeep, you drifted off into unconsciousness.


End file.
